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A few ideas from Eddie Hignett to help us keep smiling through !

  • I lost my job at the bank on my very first day. A woman asked me to check her balance, so I pushed her over.
  • Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak
  • I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me
  • I have a few jokes about unemployed people, but none of them work
  • “I have a split personality,” said Tom, being frank.
  • How do you make holy water? You boil the hell out of it
  • Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen
  • The man who survived pepper spray and mustard gas is now a seasoned veteran
  • Hear about the new restaurant called Karma? There’s no menu – you get what you deserve
  • All chemists know that alcohol is always a solution
  • When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane
  • There was a kidnapping at school yesterday. Don’t worry, though – he woke up
  • How does an attorney sleep? First he lies on one side, then he lies on the other
  • My ex-wife still misses me. But her aim is starting to improve
  • What’s the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a nicely dressed man on a tricycle? A tire
  • Two fish are in a tank, one says to the other “how do you drive this thing?”
  • I was going to make a chemistry joke, but since I’m kind of late to the thread, the good ones argon.